There are times you shouldn’t always believe what you read. Those times are most of the time…
As a lot of you will know, I recently finished touring with Bam Margera and his band around Australia, a tour in which I quit, the guitarist (Chad from CKY) quit, the support band were fired and so on and soforth.
Because of the ‘eventful’ nature of the tour, there have been a lot of rumours, stories and verbal gibberish going around by people who may not exactly be telling what could be considered the full truth, or who are leaving out important facts that may make the listener’s perception of a certain event different.
And in some cases, I’ve heard ‘truths’ being spread by people that are flat out bullshit. ‘Truths’ that serve no purpose other than making very weak and gutless individuals fell better about themselves because they have less balls than a castrated puppy to own up to what they’ve done.
Which reminds me of this one time when I tried to find a buyer for one of my kidneys.
Once I was so hard up for cash that I went online in a public forum and publicly announced to the world that I’d be willing to sell one of my kidneys. I was so serious about it in fact, that I even went as far as to post my real name and email address online so people in dire need of a transplant could contact me immediately and offer me tons of cash for one of my squishy organs.
But actually, I didn’t really try and sell one of my kidneys. In fact, I like my kidneys so much I’ve always planned on keeping them inside my body. And chances are unless I get gored by a furious goat who is high on PCP, that’s where they’ll stay.
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The point is, someone was so pissed off with me online at one point in time they went through all the effort to post my details on a site saying I was trying to sell my own body parts in order to discredit me. A fact I only found out when I was interviewed by a writer at Engadget one day.
Initially when I found out it made me laugh. That is, until I realised that there are people out there who would actually believe that stuff.
It didn’t matter that when the kidney-selling post was made, the successful online marketing company I owned was already bringing in thousands per day in profit. Although I knew that, there would always be a ton of sheep who’d read that I tried to sell my kidney for a few thousand dollars and say, “Oh my God, I can’t believe he’d try and sell his own body parts! He’s a dirty body-part-selling whore!”
While the Internet can be a place to gain knowledge and information on just about every subject imaginable, remember this: you could be reading the truth, or you could simply be reading the pissed off rantings of a weak-willed individual who won’t take responsibility for their own actions.
What makes me happy in this instance is that people already know who is telling the truth and who isn’t. People already know that most of the people spreading rumours are doing it and it’s only hurting the reputation of the people doing it, not anyone else.
In the end, people aren’t always as stupid as they may seem and the liars are already being exposed as such.
My point is, don’t believe everything you read kids. People will make up fanciful and sometimes insane stories in order to make themselves feel better, or look good.
In the end I went back on tour after quitting, though I don’t know if I can honestly say everything went smoothly after that. And while I’d love to write about every single thing that went on while we were on the road, I’ll leave that to my good friend and tour manager Glenn Stewart who has started writing a series of posts on his blog about the entire trip.
Anyway, that’s enough for me. I’d just like to leave you with the immortal quote that drove me to write this post:
“Lies make baby Jesus cry” — Todd Flanders.
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I heard you once ate a live duck. Everything but the beak and feet.
That may or may not be true. However, I did once eat a spaniel’s face.